a day before ramadhan...

Masya Allah! There was an incident that happened yesterday that really brought me back a few years ago.. Masya Allah!

We made a purchase for our very first TV set at Suntec today. It was a genuine bargain.... glad we didn't give it a miss! Well anyways, the TV is secondary. The taxi ride to Yishun after purchasing the said TV is something that's remarkably surreal, I have to jot it down.

Of all the cabs that's lined up, we got into this particular Citicab driven by a brother named Mohamed Rafee. Besides the cab being an improvised cybercab (nvm dat part - i dun wanna side-track too much but the driver did provide a notebook for his passengers to surf for free =),
I honestly feel that it's already written by God Almighty for us to board his cab that day. This brother has been trying figure out how to convert clips from youtube to his gadget for a few days already but he didn't quite know how to do it... His niyah is beautiful indeed. He declares that he intends to learn this particular surah, Surah Al Mulk, and to memorise well enough for him to recite the complete surah before Ramadan ends. Such a beautiful niyah and what a wonderful goal he has set upon himself to accomplish in this coming holiest of months. Not the shortest of surah, I tell ya. Insya Allah, may brother Rafee achieve his goal and may he reaps in the pahala he deserves, Insya Allah. Amin!!!

Everything on earth is Islam. Birds, trees, your hair, hands, eyes, feet.... you name it. Everything/everyone is Islam - just a matter of one realising it sooner,later or at all.

This time, Allah swt has granted Brother Rafee the help he needs to fulfill his sincere niyah.
May Andy be rewarded for his deeds also, Ya Allah. Amin!

The scene in the cab was really sombre with the Surah Al-Mulk playing loudly on youtube and the driver just reciting away, totally immersed and you can just sensed that he was at peace.... Not an everyday scene I must say. I am grateful!

For me personally, a reminder that I've not been an active Muslim for quite a long while... I was even asked why I decided to put on the hijab by an interviewer a few days ago. At that precise moment, before I answered her, I felt like a hypocrite for a minute second. Why am I wearing the hijab? The answer didn't come instantly and dat scared me. Ya Allah!
I meant to say the biggest gift of all, hidayah, granted to me that made me put on the hijab but all I could muster was age and wisdom? Hmmmmmm.....

A reminder to take Islam as a whole and not just the ones that are simpler to follow. Many practising muslims are guilty of this basic practise and i'm ashamed to say, I'm no exception.
The iman fluctuates and it is time to bring it up high.
Syukur Alhamdulillah. ALLAH has sent me this reminder before Ramadhan arrives. I am truly grateful!

I can't wait for Ramadhan to come!!!!
Syukur Alhamdulillah, we're blessed to experience yet another year and Insya Allah, may we have the opportunity for many many more Ramadhans in the years to come. May or deeds be accepted and our sins, forgiven. Amin Ya Rabbal Al Amin!


Allahu Akbar! Wat an experience! =D

p/s: surah Al-Kursi

1 year. 2 more months.

Syukur, Syukur Alhamdulillah.

Today marks our one year engagement. Ya Allah! Cepat eh...! Time whizzes by like nobody's business.

I sure didn't plan for this. To be engaged, that is.
I didn't believe in engagements for the longest time - just a ceremony to announce in a big, grand, totally unnecessary way. (But if you can well afford to have it that way, I say go for o'course if that's your thang. *wink* I still think it's a waste of money but dat's just me. :P)

But I'm glad I'm a fianceé before being a wife. It's a gradual transition of roles really. From being single to suddenly being "double" for the rest of your life. Yikes! I guess being engaged minimises "culture shock". True you know. Even the marriage course we went to says it's recommended for the couple to be engaged at least 6 months before getting married. It's good. It's good.

Well our engagement was a very simple affair, JUST the way I like. It was very personal and real to me and I appreciated that it went as "small" as it did. Just 2 family units binded because Andy and I finally found each other. I'm smiling.

It's been a solid year and all praises belong to ALLAH, our love's getting stronger and I personally cannot wait to be with him and share the remaining days of my life with this person God has generously presented me with. To wake up beside him, to see his face the last before I sleep. I am in love. I am in love with Andy. ........................................................................................................

...............................................................Please make this happen for us, Ya Allah!..........................


Andy and I went to HDB yesterday and now, we just need to collect our keys.....................in 2012.
Oritey!!!! :D
What a brilliant gift right! Andy bought me a house on our 1 year engagement!
I can't wait to see what he'll get me on our 1 year marriage anniversary.....! Hahahaa. Me-lam-pau!


p/s: "I've forgiven you a long time ago."

are you in?

Since I'm waiting, I find that I have nothing else much to do except for LOADS of thinking.
If only I get paid to just think random, non-beneficial thoughts, I wouldn't even have to work! hahaa!

The interview's a bust. Not gonna elaborate... *tired*

Bro called me today. It was a ZUL moment and I just didn't have the mental strength to talk so I just listened (even though he's having a monologue as always). He did say this though, "I know you're anxious but this is for the better, I'm sure." I managed the faintest o' smile when I heard that.

I've heard. I wasn't surprised honestly but I was a tad bit disappointed I must say.
Having that said, I dun blame them really. I'd rethink also if I were in their shoes.......
We all lead different lives, bottom line. The things you hold on dearly may seem trivial to me, vicé versa so I should not even have any emotions on the matter. Passing news really.

Oh yah, now that I've slapped on an "i-like-you" access to this page o'mine, I can't help but to feel a lil' paiseh whenever I'm asked for the password. Now I can identify who's been reading and the people who knows what's going through my head. Honestly, I dun feel comfortable lah but I guess this arrangement has to stay to put the "i-don't-quite-like-you"s out. Hahaha...
My page, my pasal.

p/s: i'm no good company.............. D:

Job searching.... seeking.... WAITING

Searching and seeking is a 'have-to" in finding your next employemnt place but the waiting part.... OH GOD!, the waiting part is really nerve-wrecking.

So far I've turned down 2 potential successful employment and I was also turned down one time by NWA. So that's 3 places I've missed or gave a miss. It's ok.

Tmr ah-Mi is accompanying me to Tanjong Pagar for an interview for checkpoint officer. It's all the way to Woodlands and it's a 12 hour shift - 10 to 10. 2 days morning, 2 days nite and 2 days off.
So far so OK. But get this: the pay is a whopping $1200!!! This is INCLUSIVE of shift and transport allowance!!!! Oh gosh! After the mandatory deductions, I reckon I'll bring the bacon worth $900 home! $1000 pay-cut I tell ya! wow! And you wanna know what's the best part?
I'm still going for the interview tmr.

I realised that the only reason I passed up on the offer with OCBC, an employment dat pays $2.5k for a 24-7 call centre job for a customs officer that pays a humble $1200 can only mean one thing. Enough is enough. No more call centres for me. I wanna try something different. Admin, clerical, anything that minimises contact with people. I'd rather paperwork than peoplework from now on.

Oh yeah, and the waiting part..... It's not fun lemme tell you dat. The many more days I'm unemployed, the more unattractive my resumé looks. My heart skips a beat whenever I get a respond from a govt body that I've applied for, and I have applied to many for sure.

"Your application is currently receiving our attention and will be considered in competition with other applicants for the same position." Yay!!! I am having their attention! Yippee!!!
But then they go on with..."As the Ministry receives a large number of applications, we regret that only short-listed applicants will be notified to attend an interview." my confident level dips to a 0 after acknowledging the fact that the Ministry receives a large number of applications. I'm not a fan of competitions. I hate losing. :S


Oh well.... I'm sandwiched btwn a rock and a hard place fer sure!


p/s: one of them?

Love is all around........................ME!

Just bid nite-nite to my dearest ayang after nearly 2 hours bertonyeh on the fon with him. Hehehe.. He's right. Seems like we just started dating yesterday - still talking on the fon for hours wee into the night!

I miss ma andy lah. Simple as dat. :)

Had a bakery session with Oya, Rina and Qad at Misha's Kitchen and as usual, we clicked - loudly. Hahaa! Every one of us is different I suppose. Individuals with different characters but as our miss Hairina always says, kiter "tak kacau orang per". :) So true. We just want a TIME-OUT from bring a mum, wife, gf, under-achieving fianceé and just be one of the girls from the geng. hehehe...

"Everyday is a lesson in life. If you fail, just retake the lesson and pass!" words of a wise 30-yr old whom I hold much respect for. I also learn, if I can't cure, I have to endure. Setuju?

God is fair.
I may be outta job in this crucial time and I must admit that I feel pressured a lil' with all the preparations that still needs paid for but I have to be grateful for the strong backing from family members (thanks Oya, REALLY!) , optimistic-vibed gang and an understanding, most patient person who always makes me feel loved and appreciated. Syukur Alhamdulilah. I have pillars of strength all around me and I feel so blessed!!!

I wasn't shortlisted for NWA but 2 of my gfs got in. So Yay! :D My rezki's not there it seems.
It's Ok. May Allah provide for me very soon Insya Allah. Amin!


Love is all around........................ME!

i'm talking to me

HELP!

i need help. God, why am i feeling like this?????????

extremely saddened by everything and nothing at the same time. I'm going nuts.

i hope everyone getting hitched soon is feeling neurotic as I coz i really hate to think that I'm the only one going thru this!!!! i just hate it!

I'm bawling my eyes out and I can't stop!
Oh God!

p/s: this blog exists purely as a channel for me to vent on anything and everything, mundane, of significance or of no importance at all but worthy or serious enuf for me to express here. I dun wish to pull anyone down by confiding in anyone. If you're worrying about me, i thank you but don't. I'll be fine.

SCS 2005 - 2008

Ya Allah.....

We can ONLY plan and hope but if what we're hoping for is not in the best interest for us, it will never materialise. Only God Almighty knows and ONLY HE can will anything to happen. The individuals who seem to be the root cause may just be a prop in this case... Oh well, things happen for reasons and always it is for the best.

SCS is no lomger my playground officially on 8/08/2008. Historical date. Loads have happened. Oh so many questions which till today I still find there are no justifiable reasons given as answers, overwhelming emotions and several confrontations. Words exchanged with mere lame responses. I thought at least gimme the decency of a big fight but no. Useless as ever even at the very end.
Oh well, as long as I'm not there to be vocal I guess... that must have been her mentality then..No more Aishah to spot her and make her realise her real worth which btw is not much I can tell u that. She knows this and this is what is so crappy abt the whole situation. She has the upper hand no matter how much of moron she is, but as long as she's the team manager.....Another one bites the dust and this time, that person is me. :(

I dun mind going. I would have prefered to stay of course as THE day is just a couple of months away. Beats the hassle of going interviews and what not. I know I can't stay in SCS indefinitely, not as long as that woman is still in charge. I'll go bonkers and feel so oppressed by her ridiculous ways (which is a one-way street btw) that I know my day to leave will come sooner than expected. But this i must admit, totally caught me offguard. To think I intended to sign in blood if they're going to renew me again.... hahaa! As I said, LOADS have happened and this just proves to show that mere mortals cannot forsee what lies ahead. So having that said, fortunes tellers are big croaks if u ask me. hehehe...

I realise if it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger. And with every "bad" thing that happens, there's always a valuable "good" lesson to it. So what I learnt form this departure, I have humbly realised and listed them:

1) be at work - unless of course you are VERY SICK. (and in MY standards, very sick should be a near-death state of being unwell. Cough, cold, fever.. the works are but a happy meal compared to being VERY SICK so yeah, BE AT WORK)

2) Be punctual. - best to be early 30 minutes at work rather than 1 minute late everyday.

3) just do it! - Nike has it's message across loud and clear for this one. IT in this case, means work. U come to work for work, so JUST DO WORK! no goofing around. Be serious. Be focused. Dun expecct anything in return besides your paycheck at the end of every month.

4) LET THINGS SLIDE - smile more. If there is a Fanny moment, (I'm sure there will be), just let it slide. Write your frustration down on paper, tear it up, burn it if you feel like and bury the ashes with the words "may u rot in hell where you belong u Fanny" scribbled on the DIY "tombstone" and just stab it in the ground and walk away. You can do that or just istighfar BANYAK2 and smile/walk away. watever works for ya. one thing for sure, BE LESS vocal. be the silent killer this time. It worked for others, emulate them. Just dun be the spokesperson this time. It doesn't pay to be vocal. It will bite you in the arse more likely. hmmmm. but this may seem the biggest challenge for me yet, coz it's in my blood to BE vocal. Besides genetically influenced by my very vocal and justice-will-always-prevail Mum, it is scientifically proven that my bloodtype is more of a loudspeaker than other types.

editor's note: picture of scientifically proven cartoon clip cannot be uploaded here as the editor is cluelss on how to maximise the darn clip for easy viewing. Clip turns out to be too small thus becoming a major irritant and will only result in the editor becoming very irritated. So no cartoon clip here.

Bottom line, the scientifically proven cartoon clip just illustrates the point of my bloodtype being a "talk straight to the point" sorta person. I may have the same views as others but being the bloodtype that I am, I must voice it out - no matter what! imagine dat?! this trait ia actually regarded as the strength as well as a weakness for my kinds. hmmm....

i just have to try harder, dat's all. Do-able. Easy peasy Japanesy!

this thing is getting too long awinding even for me. I just need to get employed 1st.
I'm waiting... I'm still waiting.......................

B+ donor,
Editor Aishah ;p