Journey to An Nur Arfah

1 month and 3 weeks ago, we were at the hospital giving birth to my firstborn daughter who we have named with the beautiful name, An Nur Arfah. Been putting off writing the whole experience as I was either too busy with the new-found duties as mummy (got quite a shock at the initial stage with the load of work dats' suddenly shoved in my face!) too tired or too weak (with the same load of work mentioned earlier :) or just plain lazy. But as each day go by, I find it painfully terrifying if I ever were to forget any of the moments that I have with me now of that special day. With this memory, I better not take that chance. I shall now write the whole experience of safely welcoming my daughter to the world on 28 August 2010, Saturday. 19th day of the holiest month Ramadhan. :)))

Thought it was mission impossible but I did survive work log enough for me to go off my maternity Leave as planned. Work's tough or should I say certain people at work was a serious enough challenge fr m to have to compose 2 resignation letters - none of which I surrendered to the management. God gave me the strength and endured I did till my last reporting day of work on 27 Aug 2010, Friday. I wanted to seek refuge and head to Pasir Ris after work since we knocked off earlier in Ramadhan, 5pm. Changed that plan as my back was aching.. Headed back to Isun and by then i was having "cramps". I suspected i might be having contractions but couldn't really confirm this. I had to open a baby book of a bible " New Guide to Pregnancy and Babycare". "Pai becoming more intense and in shorter range" I timed my "cramps" it was about 10 min apart.. Then 5 min. I was kinda sure I might be in labour but still had reservations to head to hospital.. it would be an embarassing wasted trip if it was false so I made that call. Mak was deteremined for me to head to hspital rightaway! "jgn ko sampai tak boleh jalan, lagi susah!" those words made me pick up my labour bag. :)

Abah and mak picked me up from under the blk and the 3 of us (with baby in tummy, of course) made our way to KKH. I was clueless on where to go admit myself. I have been following hubs on which way to go for clinics all the tie since he accompanied me for ALL doc's appointments.Yes, I am fortunate to have him as partner. Kesian all those "hubbyless" mums. hmmm...

In the end, we found the correct place. "I wanna admit myself. I think I'm in labour." The nurse then asked me whether the pain was bearable and I rememered telling the nurse it was a 7 /10 based on the pain table. 7 was right coz it really got intense, like 100 but I shall not fast forward too much.

They monitored my contractions and baby's heartbeat. I managed to record baby'e heartbeat for the last time she's in my womb. :) Nurse said my contractions were in constant waves and I was 2cm dilated. I can only go to labour ward if dilated 3cm at least. So they warded me foe the night. All this while while they monitored me, Both my parents were waiting outside. It was 10ish at night. Yes, again I am fortunate. My parents. :)

Throughout this whole happenings, hubs was in JB buying kueh raya. He had no clue his daughter wants to see him! Mak said not to tell him over the phone, lest he recklessly rush home. But i drew the line when I received a msg from him saying he just reached JB coz they lost their way and was just abt to start their shopping. Immediately I called to say " awak, anak awak nak kluar." !!!!! He rushed. :)

I tossed and turned. Incline and declined the bed. Hubbs managed to reach at ard 11pm. Alhamdulillah, he got to witness baby's birth. I have to admit, I would be very sore with him if he missed it, esp since I asked him to skip the JB trip this year. Anyways, I managed to snooze when I eventually turned on my side, as how I've always slept throughout my pregnancy. Like a baby I slept! haha.. Sleep monster, what do u expect??? :) I woke up ard 6 and wanted a hot drink. Breakfast was served and as I was eating halfway, the nurse said I can go to labour ward as they ahd a room and I was ready for labour.This was at 9.30am. Altho I wanted to finish my nasi lemak, i was having difficulty eating with the contractions geting more intense, i decided it was time for me to follow the nurse, but not before a shower. Thinking back, so glad I did that.

I was wheeled into the labour ward and my initial reaction "THIS IS IT! I'M DOING THIS!". I realised then i mistakenly thought labour wrad is going to be one of those rooms where they monitored my contractions, but how many times can they monitor. Baby needs to come out sooner or later. Duh! In other words, I was shocked. Another thing, I was expecting to find that tigh holder meta thingy but nope, none of that. Just a ward bed with huge spotlights. Dat's how I necessarily remember the room. Hubs joined me in the room soon after as he went back to nap a few hours. was still bearable when he came in...

I don't remember the contractions being painful. It was painful not being able to push when the time is not yet to push. So i u
guess the part when we have to hold baby in because we're not dilated enough was painful. the moment when God forgives' the mother's sins, I know that moment. I told myslef not to scream but the pain, subhanallah! I dun think fathers can tolerate. Honest.

Baby came out fast. She just slithered on the table. Her cry filled the room like a beautfil rainbow. I,ve never heard something so beautful, so clean. :) Hubs was scraed o cut her umb cord but Dr Janice coaxed him and he did his part well. i thought to myself he looked just like daddy and had had dimples n both her cheeks when i first laid eyes on An Nur! Subhanallah! She's the most beautiful, MOST BEAUTIFUL, i have ever seen. I can't believe she has made me mummy and that she is mine to take care of all her life. ........ Till now, sometimes, I still can't believe that she's mine. The nurses agree with my opinion hat she's a dimpled daddy's girl. :) An Nur latched on like she's been practising in my womb all the while. She's a smart one. All the nurses praised how clever An Nur was. Insya Allah baby. Amin.

Time 1.42pm. It was all over in 4hours and 12min! :))) I'm proud of this but dare not tell anyone, let it be within me. :)

As i hold u in my arms, just us, I say a prayer for you. Only Allah, me and you. Always.