Life at Yishun - I burnt the Curry!!!!!!

Life at Yishun.....

I burnt the curry!!! Right down to the blackened pot! Ya Allah.... How malu kan..! I cannot imagine what the MIL must be thinking.. 'so forgetful ar? even my daughter, the younger one, would never forget to man the stove...” Urgh! watever lah but still so malu kan... I'm barely here for 1 week and I already managed to burn the kitchen. Super useless.

Reality check. I though I'd be the one to inherit mak's God-given cullinary skill, oh how wrong can I get. I'm useless at the kitchen. Ma ayang has better skills than me. Kakak thinks she has it but can never really BE there, u know what I mean. The dish are somewhat superficial (no surprise there) if u ask me.. The colour's rite, all the supposed ingredients are intact... but it never is quite the same as mak. Bur at least she thinks it is and whatever makes her add on to that happy world of hers is none of my biz.

I'm in the kitchen now. A realisation. Life in Yishun is not so bad without the main residents, namely the MIL, THE SIL and maybe the FIL. He's on nuetral ground to me. (the fact that he's a man has a lot to do with = not a bitch)

The place is so quiet it borders on BOREDOM. The lack of any audio puts any libraries to shame.. At least there are kids running ard, mobilephones going off, teens being their usual lack of moral selves talking loudly.. I'm irritated already. A different kind of irritation. Where's the middle ground? I feel uneasy turning the TV on in the living room coz no one does it. Dun get me started on sitting on the sofa....

I turned on the stove to panaskan the lauk then went in the room.. MY BAD! but there was zero activity in the kitchen that if I wasn't in my rrom, I'd be staring at the pot as it re-heats the dish. No TV, radio is just to listen... Lesson learnt: I'll bring the lappy in the kitchen and self=talk myself out of this place.

I just told MIL about the curry. They just came back home. She sucks lah. Different league with my mum. Unfair to compare even. Ya Allah. I know I made a huge blunder but bukannya sengaja. Aku tau lah bapak nak makan....What am I supposed to do now????? Andy would never get that kind of reply from mak. Maybe I would but Mak would never say that to her son in law. I'm certain she would just laugh and crack a dirty joke. We would be embarrassed by the joke and forget abt the incident ever taking place. Maybe the fact that MIL knows we've sold the house and we've got no choice but to stay under her roof makes her feel aloof with both of us staying here. Maybe lah.

I miss mak and abah. Can I rent someplace else to live, Ya Allah....? Just till we get the keys to Punggol??? It's barely a week I'm here.......... Ya Allah.

Jealous of you?

I can't even escape this reality world to pour out or act out ine the virtual one. "Ppl may think differently".... Gosh.

I've safeguarded this page tat is truly mine with a new password. No one has the access. Maybe till I finally returned to my Maker that I'll reveal the PW so you can then read my life like an openbook. Sigh...


I'm just recalling what happened 2 weeks ago, Crying till my eyes in the cab feeling numb after I screamed at poor mum. How I've done her wrong... It was a Wednesday night when we quarreled - all because I was 'jealous' of kakak. If the word JEALOUS had to be used, the yes I am jealous of her. But not because of what she has... what does she have? But because of what she can get away with and what I have to put up with.. all the way since we were lil' girls.

I have to put up being the invisble daughter. I have to put up with answering mak's call eventhough she called kakak's name to look for me. Nora is at the tip pf her tongue while shah was forgettable.
I had to put up with having her full-length picture hanging on the wall and all I got was a promise to get my picture done when I'm "older". When I do get older, I have to put up with having a 2 1 birthday cake eventhough I turned 16. Woe to me that I have to share my birthday with the popular one. Looking back, think that was the time when I vowed to myself to cut off any events in my life from the family. If they didn't want to pay attention to me, I didn't want the attention at all from them. That was the turning point to disaster for me... 16. I am a statictic.
I reject anyone who does not treat me fairly. I bear a grudge so difficult to let...
They see me being unable to kena sikit but what they dunno is this unfair treatment is deeply rooted in me that I will react the only way I know how - bear a rudge against this evil act of preferantial treatment and injustice.


I dunno what kind of parent I'll be. I don't even know what kind of person I am now.
Life is too hard for me....

Life @ Yishun - Grass is greener on MY side

It's like a sauna in here! Difference is there's no water and visble steam but the heat is absolutely driving me nuts. You have to constantly be in the path of the blowing fan to feel like “normal” room temperature. I'm irritated by the heat every few seconds when the fan has to be oscillated – coz it's not blowing at me to keep the husband cool. Gosh... Husband has it worse. Kesian dia... Sweating as soon as he steps in the room after a cold shower. Imagine that! Double gosh...

The fans here are not being fully utilised! Is it just me or THEM are suffering also but choose to be silent in the name of being “economical”. crazee... They are but props, the fans – as long as the panes are turning, however slowly and has no effect on the room's temperature at all is irrelevant, as long as the panes are turning..... Crazee...

It'very different here. Everyday seems shorter, now that time has decided not to pass but to whizz by me. A million things to do everyday... But I really wonder whether I can stand to stay here till our house is built – in another 3 years!!!!!!!!!

1st of the month...yet again.

I'm struggling.

No chance to lengthen the list. Not anytime soon by the looks of things.

I'm struggling.

Ya Allah. Help me out!