.random ramblings. dun mind me.

Working in the night shift has it's upsides. Feels like I'm single again. I remember when I used to look forward to my rostered evening shifts. 2 weeks in a row? hey no problem. I'll take it! =) Time set aside for me and me alone. I like my alone time. But I'm not the most productive of people and to the "performers" I may seem like I'm doing nothing or wasting precious time but I just gotta add here that what I do with my time is my business. What I choose to do with my time is part of being me. If I just feel like surfing the net whole 9 hours straight, I say "surf's up dude!". But I recalled doing a lot of activities to occupy myself in those lonely times. I had fun. I enjoy my company. Hahaha! Brought books to read. Even went to library to borrow some random books (only funny ones, none of those lovey-dovey crap and Sci-fi nonsense. No no.), which is rare coz I didn't wanna risk losing those books and getting hefty fines for those books which I might as well have bought 'em in the 1st place. There's this one book I have yet to get my hands on. I read a few pages of "sex, drugs and cocoa puffs" by some Jewish guy Chuck Klosterman at Borders quite a while back. Was waiting for a friend to knock off from work then so had the time to be cheap and read free books. haha! I need to get that book lah. Insya Allah soon. That one book managed to make me laugh aloud after reading the 1st few pages. I managed to Ssshh myself but then I was smiling like a stupid cheap idiot to continue reading. So cannot lah. I put the book back to the shelves and before I went, I know "I'll be bak" to get that book. I really need the laugh. Now is good...

One thing I realised, I enjoy writing then and I totally dig writing now still. Alhamdulillah. At last, I've found my one true passion. Not writings of novel standard la of course but I managed to find a channel to distress besides prayers and supplications to The Almighty, of coooz.. hee.... How did I distress before eh? hmmmm... never mind that. All praises belong to Allah. I used to be a couch potato. I just adore the TV box to the WWW but now I rarely watch any TV. I dunno what's new and I couldn't care less. I've got no clue what I do with my spare time now. Think the fact that I've got my gentle G around has got alot to with how the time is currently spent. No need to think think lah. Kompom. :) But I think I need to be Me again. The individual me. Dating game's not over yet (never over Insya Allah) but more or less, I feel comfortable with the present arrangement. Now, back to being me. I'm feeling serious all of a sudden. hmmm...

I've been doing some reading. Reading of people's history. hmmmm.. Curiousity got the better of this cat. Why I read? I dunno. Why I do the things I do is sometimes a mystery even to me. I know myself the most and I know I shouldn't have read la. Esah... Esah... Man aw man..
I may seem confident to you but this is just a facade. Allah Taala saje Yang tau... hmmmm..
So when I do smile, depends on the situation, either I'm shaking my socks off or I'm feeling inferior and low. But keep on smiling Shah. Easy does it. Everything's gonna be alright. I'm good. Heck, I'm better than good. I'm worth it! hahaaha!

Entry very vague yah. Like I'm talking to myself... :) There's no need for others to know, really. The feeling, like all other feelings, will pass Insya Allah. Having only a 256MB memory has it's plus point. :)

Everybody has a history to keep. Boy, do you have your own history Shah. One faces the future with one's past. So just keep mum and perk up already. But wonder wonder... the mind likes to wonder. The mind also needs to CHILL. pft!

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future. Concentrate your mind on the present moment".

Ya Allah, Be with me.