It's near maghrib now, time utk buka puasa nak dekat..

Thought I'd jot down my thoughts while everyone else is at the kitchen..

Sorry baby, what i'm about to express has nothing against you, AT ALL. Being here inhibits me to do a lot of things I want to do.
Why? Because this is not my home and already I feel like I'm intruding by doing nothing! Given the choice, I want to leave! I dun want to stay here, Ya Allah!

I'm bleeding again. More or the same as yesterday I can't be sure but the bleeding sure hasn't lessened.
Came back from Woodlands Bazaar to get food for buka and all that time, I felt wet below. Everytime I see the blood, it makes me so scared I'm going to lose baby but with this kind of environment...................I'm starting to think that that's not such a bad thing.

I'm so sad writing this. Just thinking about losing baby aches my heart to no end.. How hubby and everyone else is going to be so disappointed. They will say it's ok but I know...

I'm not going to have my own home till a couple years later. The people in this house are either, fakes, spineless, super loud pricks or two-faced injustice persons. How can I subject my baby to be among these ppl during the precious early years. Ya Allah!!!!! Help me Ya Allah! Help this servant who is in dire need of YOUR mercy for the sake of her child you are to give her...