Can I just disappear for a while?
At home being sick.
The state of mind is at the moment......... "UNDRIVEN".
Absolutely "UNDRIVEN".
Quarreled with mak. Not proud of it but at the same non-apologetic. Honestly, I just go 'blah' rather than "I'm sorry." The reason for my smug attitude? Only I know and only I feel strongly about. Unnecessary heartache and acute noise pollution. I just want OUT but dun think it's the best of time to move out since Haru Raya Haj is just around the corner. Speaking from experience, a small black dot will magnify into a huge hell-hole if I were to move out now. Drama runs in the family and the award for the best actress goes to......................... Sigh....
I'm sorry. I'm just sorry.
I hope my unborn-children will not be such a burden to me as I am to Mak. It's unexplainable. The black sheep in the family then. Still the black sheep in the family now.
Is it the tone of my voice when I talk? Is it just the attitude that I exude w/o even realising?
Is it my temper which I fail to control? Or is it just BEING ME that is the problem???
Honestly I think it's all of the above. It's not as if I dun try to be a better person overall. It's just that the situation most times influences my emotions.
.........................................................
.....................................................................................................................................................
I'll stop here. I just hope the relation will improve that's all. Sometimes I think it can only improve if I were to either approve/agree/ say "yes" all the time eventhough I know the person is wrong/being difficult/petty. Sigh.......
Time is 1551hrs on a Friday noon. I'm on a standstill. I'm not motivated.
I'm scared I'll have a relapse.
Ya Allah... PLEASE be with me.
The state of mind is at the moment......... "UNDRIVEN".
Absolutely "UNDRIVEN".
Quarreled with mak. Not proud of it but at the same non-apologetic. Honestly, I just go 'blah' rather than "I'm sorry." The reason for my smug attitude? Only I know and only I feel strongly about. Unnecessary heartache and acute noise pollution. I just want OUT but dun think it's the best of time to move out since Haru Raya Haj is just around the corner. Speaking from experience, a small black dot will magnify into a huge hell-hole if I were to move out now. Drama runs in the family and the award for the best actress goes to......................... Sigh....
I'm sorry. I'm just sorry.
I hope my unborn-children will not be such a burden to me as I am to Mak. It's unexplainable. The black sheep in the family then. Still the black sheep in the family now.
Is it the tone of my voice when I talk? Is it just the attitude that I exude w/o even realising?
Is it my temper which I fail to control? Or is it just BEING ME that is the problem???
Honestly I think it's all of the above. It's not as if I dun try to be a better person overall. It's just that the situation most times influences my emotions.
.........................................................
.....................................................................................................................................................
I'll stop here. I just hope the relation will improve that's all. Sometimes I think it can only improve if I were to either approve/agree/ say "yes" all the time eventhough I know the person is wrong/being difficult/petty. Sigh.......
Time is 1551hrs on a Friday noon. I'm on a standstill. I'm not motivated.
I'm scared I'll have a relapse.
Ya Allah... PLEASE be with me.
posted by Sssshhh....Shah at
12/14/2007 03:56:00 PM
2 Comments:
you are not a burdenlah.. mengalah sikit tak jadi ape.. me not siding anybody but dia mak kita ape.. me dunnoe how or wat to say but jus tis.. jgn terlalu ikutkan hati yang marah, nanti bleh parah.. takut nanti kita "jatuh" dapat "bangun" takpe.. kalau sebaliknye???.. how??.. geddit?? cheer up ; )... nak go bowling?? hee.. selit..
thank you "akaklah, siape lagik". :D
Me dah peace no war with mak smlm. Syukur Alhamdulillah!
Try not to repeat lah. To be a good daughter from............. NOW! :D
Insya Allah. Amin.
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