Happiness is egg-shaped
Just watched Adaptation on TV. Think the TV ppl or "programme schedulers" or whatever they call themselves intentionally arrange good movies to air on late Sunday nights just for the fun of it knowing full well in the early morning of the very next day is a working day. TH. Either you sleep early and be all perky and energetic for work or you catch that good and entertaining show but risk sleep-working in a few hrs. They do this all the time. Sadistic baffoons. I can see my zombie self already... :s
Story's about a screenwriter (N Cage) who's trying to adapt a book on orchids and got to know more abt himself as a person while at it. The orchid is just a prop I guess that gels the characters together. I can see similarity to the story Sideways but they chose wine as their prop of choice in that one. 40 minutes to the movie, M Streep's character, the author of the orchid book, said this, "...I wanna know how it feels to care about something passionately....... because it whittles the world down to a more manageable size." It struck a chord in me so strong I nodded my head in agreement like the love-sick fool that I am without realising. Words right outta my mouth although my exact words wouldn't be so eloquently put. I zoned out a couple o'times while watching coz I kept thinking on the meaning of that particular line to me but I eventually drift back in focus esp when they cut to commercials which was more times than necessary. (irritating TV ppl)
Before I go on, I feel I'm risking my privacy here. The thing about writing down your thoughts and posting em' up (also more popular referred to as "blogging" but I've never liked that term. Like many others, I agree it's overrated and overused, thus I will only use it this once to make my point.) is everyone or anyone who reads this blah, can and will know my intimate feelings, thoughts and opinions on anything I decide on to be "topic of the day". I shudder every time I imagine a friend I've lost touched with or a person whom I ignore by choice and decide to move on from from reading this. My dear Kek once told me she enjoyed reading my random rants but she added my writings can be rather personal. But that's just me, see. Stuff I say sometimes, others would think it should be a kept secret but I would have a "but why?" face when they tell me that. It's not a big deal to me. I can't think of an example to insert here now so you've just got to take my word. Not that you have a choice... I go through the entries I've posted so far and I dun think I've crossed that privacy line. At least not yet. Not until this post here. Gulp!
You gotta understand, I write not to entertain. That is not at the top of my list and not a primary concern, although I must say "100 points added!!" to me if i remotely manage to keep you folks coming back here coz u like what i post or you and can relate to what i have to say or ur just plain freakin' bored (that's very likely the case, i know). Oh well.. More importantly, I write to understand myself. I'm all over the place when I talk but I find that I'm more composed and can express what i truly mean by jotting words down. (Think the backspace key has a lot to do with it.) I'm hoping this thing here will grow old with me and can be a read (an entertaining read, no less ;) for my children when I do have them one day, Insya Allah. I can already hear them say, "So this is how mum was as a 26 yr old. She seemed lost..." heeehee...
All that I've jotted down so far are by far the most personal I've ever been and I kinda feel violated when the ppl who are not supposed to, reads this. I'm not bothered if a stranger's here because well, he doesn't know me. Period. His comments thus, dun matter. Totally different ball game if an ex-friend's here though. The acquaintance, no matter how brief, most probably have met me and an initial impression has already been imprinted in their mind of me, good or bad. This page here, I think, will somehow add on to that initial impression. I dun want that. Befriend me the orthodox way if you want to. I reckon we're gonna be best of buddies from whatever's posted here, so I ask you to do me this favour if a) you are a friend I've lost touched with or b) a person whom I ignore by choice and decide to move on from, please dun try to read me like a blog. ( I couldn't help myself. Last time. I promise :P) If we do bump into each other in the future, spare us both the awkwardness by not behaving like we just hung out together the day before ok. Just coz you happen to know the link to this page here, thus giving you full access to my life in virtualand, doesn't mean you know the real, living me. Even though I'm a no big deal kinda person, I still do keep some stuff sacred. Now that that's stated and off my chest, let's proceed. (Phew! i can be so long winded sometimes. Ok, make that most times.)
Commercial's over and the movie resumes. (Power ah. The art of "selit". It's an acquired skill. heehee..) I can't say I fully understood the movie though. The script was so excellently written that I kept hanging on to each beautifully choreagraphed sentence and got distracted because of it. Either that or the movie was cheem and and I'm too slow. I give a thumb's up for the movie which manages to provoke thought (like I dun have enough if it already) and the script is good. Don't matter whether there's a lack of jam-packed action or graphics, digitally enhanced, shots. Talk. Talk all you want, I love to listen. So Adaptation's ok, Ghost Rider is not. (except for the 4 cool villain characters which could have saved the movie for me but the way they were disposed of.... Ghost Rider is still a NOT.)
Personal preferance I suppose. That's what makes us different. Different like the rest. hmmm..
If given the choice, I would like to already know who is this person that's to be my someone special. To just be with that person who agrees to care for me and I him. Being single's OK but being in a relationship you've mutually agree to commit in, takes away most of the unnecessary unknowns. Maybe I've forgotten how to or maybe it just got harder 5 years on but I dun think I'm playing this whole dating game right. To be fair, I've never really dated. The persons I was with before were never self-found rather, introduced by mutual friends. So you would understand how clueless i am bout the whole process.
Firstly, I'm not a willing player. How I would love to just skip the whole awkward introductory, full of formality phase and just be with that someone who at least share the same interest and goals in this life. Dun care much for falling in love. InsyaAllah the love part will grow as it is one of the strongest emotions we possess and being mere humans, we are but emotional creatures. Emotions so strong that we tend to act on how we feel. Most times, our initial feelings deceive us and we'll feel yet another emotion because of how we reacted; regret. Personally, i find regret to be the most useful. By feeling this, we need to make a more conscious effort not to repeat the act done before in order to grow in the right direction, as per the compass, Islam. :)
Kek and I had this talk before months ago (love ya, kek) and I told her, from past experience, I would rather fall in care rather than fall in love. I feel this even more now.
Picture perfect: To mutually agree to be with someone so you can finally block other "possibilities" and just focus on this person. To stay loyal to one. To care and be taken care of by that one. To live this life simply together and to hold each other's hand to guide each other in this life which is temporary and short for a more promising life together in the here-after, insya Allah.
"I wanna know how it feels to care about something passionately....... because it whittles the world down to a more manageable size."
My sentiments exactly.
Story's about a screenwriter (N Cage) who's trying to adapt a book on orchids and got to know more abt himself as a person while at it. The orchid is just a prop I guess that gels the characters together. I can see similarity to the story Sideways but they chose wine as their prop of choice in that one. 40 minutes to the movie, M Streep's character, the author of the orchid book, said this, "...I wanna know how it feels to care about something passionately....... because it whittles the world down to a more manageable size." It struck a chord in me so strong I nodded my head in agreement like the love-sick fool that I am without realising. Words right outta my mouth although my exact words wouldn't be so eloquently put. I zoned out a couple o'times while watching coz I kept thinking on the meaning of that particular line to me but I eventually drift back in focus esp when they cut to commercials which was more times than necessary. (irritating TV ppl)
Before I go on, I feel I'm risking my privacy here. The thing about writing down your thoughts and posting em' up (also more popular referred to as "blogging" but I've never liked that term. Like many others, I agree it's overrated and overused, thus I will only use it this once to make my point.) is everyone or anyone who reads this blah, can and will know my intimate feelings, thoughts and opinions on anything I decide on to be "topic of the day". I shudder every time I imagine a friend I've lost touched with or a person whom I ignore by choice and decide to move on from from reading this. My dear Kek once told me she enjoyed reading my random rants but she added my writings can be rather personal. But that's just me, see. Stuff I say sometimes, others would think it should be a kept secret but I would have a "but why?" face when they tell me that. It's not a big deal to me. I can't think of an example to insert here now so you've just got to take my word. Not that you have a choice... I go through the entries I've posted so far and I dun think I've crossed that privacy line. At least not yet. Not until this post here. Gulp!
You gotta understand, I write not to entertain. That is not at the top of my list and not a primary concern, although I must say "100 points added!!" to me if i remotely manage to keep you folks coming back here coz u like what i post or you and can relate to what i have to say or ur just plain freakin' bored (that's very likely the case, i know). Oh well.. More importantly, I write to understand myself. I'm all over the place when I talk but I find that I'm more composed and can express what i truly mean by jotting words down. (Think the backspace key has a lot to do with it.) I'm hoping this thing here will grow old with me and can be a read (an entertaining read, no less ;) for my children when I do have them one day, Insya Allah. I can already hear them say, "So this is how mum was as a 26 yr old. She seemed lost..." heeehee...
All that I've jotted down so far are by far the most personal I've ever been and I kinda feel violated when the ppl who are not supposed to, reads this. I'm not bothered if a stranger's here because well, he doesn't know me. Period. His comments thus, dun matter. Totally different ball game if an ex-friend's here though. The acquaintance, no matter how brief, most probably have met me and an initial impression has already been imprinted in their mind of me, good or bad. This page here, I think, will somehow add on to that initial impression. I dun want that. Befriend me the orthodox way if you want to. I reckon we're gonna be best of buddies from whatever's posted here, so I ask you to do me this favour if a) you are a friend I've lost touched with or b) a person whom I ignore by choice and decide to move on from, please dun try to read me like a blog. ( I couldn't help myself. Last time. I promise :P) If we do bump into each other in the future, spare us both the awkwardness by not behaving like we just hung out together the day before ok. Just coz you happen to know the link to this page here, thus giving you full access to my life in virtualand, doesn't mean you know the real, living me. Even though I'm a no big deal kinda person, I still do keep some stuff sacred. Now that that's stated and off my chest, let's proceed. (Phew! i can be so long winded sometimes. Ok, make that most times.)
Commercial's over and the movie resumes. (Power ah. The art of "selit". It's an acquired skill. heehee..) I can't say I fully understood the movie though. The script was so excellently written that I kept hanging on to each beautifully choreagraphed sentence and got distracted because of it. Either that or the movie was cheem and and I'm too slow. I give a thumb's up for the movie which manages to provoke thought (like I dun have enough if it already) and the script is good. Don't matter whether there's a lack of jam-packed action or graphics, digitally enhanced, shots. Talk. Talk all you want, I love to listen. So Adaptation's ok, Ghost Rider is not. (except for the 4 cool villain characters which could have saved the movie for me but the way they were disposed of.... Ghost Rider is still a NOT.)
Personal preferance I suppose. That's what makes us different. Different like the rest. hmmm..
If given the choice, I would like to already know who is this person that's to be my someone special. To just be with that person who agrees to care for me and I him. Being single's OK but being in a relationship you've mutually agree to commit in, takes away most of the unnecessary unknowns. Maybe I've forgotten how to or maybe it just got harder 5 years on but I dun think I'm playing this whole dating game right. To be fair, I've never really dated. The persons I was with before were never self-found rather, introduced by mutual friends. So you would understand how clueless i am bout the whole process.
Firstly, I'm not a willing player. How I would love to just skip the whole awkward introductory, full of formality phase and just be with that someone who at least share the same interest and goals in this life. Dun care much for falling in love. InsyaAllah the love part will grow as it is one of the strongest emotions we possess and being mere humans, we are but emotional creatures. Emotions so strong that we tend to act on how we feel. Most times, our initial feelings deceive us and we'll feel yet another emotion because of how we reacted; regret. Personally, i find regret to be the most useful. By feeling this, we need to make a more conscious effort not to repeat the act done before in order to grow in the right direction, as per the compass, Islam. :)
Kek and I had this talk before months ago (love ya, kek) and I told her, from past experience, I would rather fall in care rather than fall in love. I feel this even more now.
Picture perfect: To mutually agree to be with someone so you can finally block other "possibilities" and just focus on this person. To stay loyal to one. To care and be taken care of by that one. To live this life simply together and to hold each other's hand to guide each other in this life which is temporary and short for a more promising life together in the here-after, insya Allah.
"I wanna know how it feels to care about something passionately....... because it whittles the world down to a more manageable size."
My sentiments exactly.
posted by Sssshhh....Shah at
2/25/2007 02:17:00 AM
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